This and That

So I went public with our loss yesterday.  Sort of. 

For those that don't know, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.  At 7:00pm there was a "Wave of Light" where people were encouraged to light a candle in honor of, or to remember one you have lost.

Around 7 last night I put a picture of a candle on my Facebook.  Most responses were from lovely ladies I've gotten close to through TB.  However, a few of my IRL friends obviously new what it meant, as I couple other responses as well.  I know it's not really going public, but it felt good to make a statement about our loss, even if the meaning was lost on most.  I don't want pregnancy loss (or infertility for that matter), to be this dirty little secret.  It's horrible, it happened, but it's a part of me now.  I won't hang my head in shame or regret.

In other news, I think my HCG levels are almost back to normal.  Here's my tests from the last couple weeks.  I've recorded them in weeks post-lost (pl).

 

As I thought, this week's test is a squinter (I played with the contrast a tiny bit.  It's pretty faint in person).  I'm not even sure I'll take a test next week.  I think it might be too hard to see a stark white test again.  I think it's good enough to know my body is back to a some-what normal.

 

Hopefully my period isn't too far off.  I'm ready to put this cycle behind me and start moving forward.