+OPK this morning. So it looks like it's go time. My OPK this afternoon was negative but I think my pee was too diluted (I drank a lot of water today at school). I'll take one again in the morning. Lately I've been getting two days of +OPKs, so if that holds true, I'll get one again tomorrow. My CM is barely watery, so I'm guessing O will be tomorrow rather than today.
I know a +OPK is a good thing. I know it. But honestly, I'm a little sad to be leaving the safety of Waiting to O. I know what to expect in that phase. This phase is full of emotion - ups and downs of my normal stability. I don't always handle myself with grace during this part of my cycle. I try to keep a level head, I honestly do, but... normally I fail.
I never knew when we started this journey, eight months ago, how long it would take. How much energy, time, and emotion it would require. Society makes getting pregnant seem so easy. A boy so much as looks at a girl and *BOOM*, pregnant. I didn't think about not being able to get pregnant right away. It almost seems crazy that it can take (at least) eight months to get yourself knocked when you're doing everything right.
I know this is part of the process. The ultimate goal is creating a baby, so if this is what we have to go through to get there, so be it. But, some days, I just wish it wasn't so hard.
I can totally relate. This whole process is a lot tougher than I thought it'd be.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate. The uncertainty and the waiting can be maddening.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I like the FW best because it's the part of this whole process that I actually have some control over. This is the part where I feel most hopeful. As the LP goes on, it descends into everything you've described.