We are OUT this cycle. Knowing we were probably out (which I did), and actually having it confirmed, seem to be two very different things for me though. On Tuesday, I had full brown spotting. It just put me in a funk all day. I came home from school, took a nap, and then started drinking margaritas.
I know we always tell people on the board that you’re not out until AF shows… but that’s really not true. AF hasn’t shown for me yet, but I know I’m out. I think sometimes we just know our own bodies. I have typical pre-AF symptoms that always come. I’d be more suspicious if they didn’t come. And, as a teacher this really was the last “good” month. I almost don’t want to get pregnant this next cycle. That would put me a due day of August which stinks as far school is concerned (as in the very beginning of the school year!). I would almost rather have a September baby so I could get my classroom started the first days of school and then take maternity leave.
But, as a good friend said -- Don’t let good get in the way of great. I can't plan my future on what-ifs. I'll try to follow that advice this upcoming cycle.
It’ll happen when it happens I suppose. I’m just reaching the point where I’m starting to worry that there is something wrong with one or both of us. I’ve actually considered sending H in for a SA around 6 months. Just in case. I just hate to waste time if there is something wrong and we didn’t know about it. The guy procedure is simple. I won’t look into anything for me until around 12 months.
I’m just still a little gloomy. I’m sure I’ll feel better when AF actually shows and I can start thinking about the next cycle.
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